The angry wife met her husband at the door. There was alcohol on his breath and lipstick on his cheek. "I assume," she snarled, "that there is a very good reason for you to come waltzing in at six o'clock in the morning?"
Did you hear about the lawyer from Texas who was so big when he died that they couldn't find a coffin big enough to hold the body?
Yo momma's so white that when she uses the Jacuzzi, the water turns into milk.
What's the disease that paralyzes blondes below the waist?
Chuck Norris jokes
Chuck Norris owns the greatest poker face of all-time. It helped him win the 1983 world series of poker despite him holding just a joker, a 2 of clubs, a 7 of spades, and a green number 4 from Uno and a monopoly 'get out of jail free' card.
Why are husbands like lawn mowers?
A man was walking down the street when he saw a woman with the perfect, and I mean PERFECT, breasts he'd ever seen.
A woman was standing in a crowded lift of the hotel she was staying in. When a man got in and accidentally elbowed her in the breast.
Teacher: "What is the most common phrase used in school?"
Do you know what the death rate around here is?