◖My Mom is a Fob
◖Help Feed the Troll
◖Habitation of Justice
◖15 Minute Lunch
Yo momma jokes
Yo momma is so fat. If she gained another pound, she would collapse in on herself and become a black hole.
A man got 2 wishes from god. He asked for the best wine and best woman.
Next moment, he had the best wine and Mother Theresa next to him.
Moral: Be Specific.
Land mine jokes
Visiting Afghanistan for a second time, a war correspondent noted that since the fall of the Taliban, wives who used to walk ten paces behind their husbands were now walking ten paces in front. The journalist asked one of the men if this was a sign of growing equality.
"No", the man replied. "Land-mines."
Mommy mommy jokes
"Mommy, Mommy! Daddy's on fire!"
"Hurry up and get the marshmallows!"
Yo momma is so dirty, that she was banned from a sewage facility because of sanitation worries!
A philosophy professor walks in to give his class their final. Placing his chair on his desk the professor instructs the class, "Using every applicable thing you've learned in this course, prove to me that this chair DOES NOT EXIST."
So, pencils are writing and erasers are erasing, students are preparing to embark on novels proving that this chair doesn't exist, except for one student. He spends thirty seconds writing his answer, then turns his final in to the astonishment of his peers.
Time goes by, and the day comes when all the students get their final grades ... and to the amazment of the class, the student who wrote for thirty seconds gets the highest grade in the class.
His answer to the question: "What chair?"
An elderly woman had just returned to her home from an evening of religious service when she was startled by an intruder.
As she caught the man in the act of robbing her home of its valuables, she yelled, "Stop! Acts 2: 38! Turn from your sin!"
The burglar stopped dead in his tracks. Then the woman immediately called the police and explained what she had done.
As the officer cuffed the man to take him in, he asked the burglar, "Why did you just stand there? All the old lady did was yell a scripture at you."
"Scripture?" replied the burglar, "She said she had an axe and two 38s!"
Why do they say 'Amen' at the end of a prayer instead of 'Awomen'?
The same reason they sing Hymns instead of Hers!
The man tells his doctor that his wife hasn't wanted to have sex with him for the past 7 months. The physician tells the man to bring his wife in so he can talk to her.
When the wife comes to office, the doctor asks her why doesn't she want to have sex with her husband any more.
"For the last 7 months," the wife replies, "every morning I take a cab to work. I don't make much money and my husband doesn't give more than bus fare, so the cab driver always asks me, 'So are you going to pay today or what?' I always give him an 'or what'. That makes me late to work I'm late, so the boss asks me, 'So are we going to dock your salary, or what?' That's another 'or what.' On the way home, I take the cab and again I don't have any money so the cab driver asks me, 'So are you going to pay this time or what?' And, again, I do an 'or what'. So you see, Doctor, when I get home I'm all tired out and I don't want sex any more."
The doctor thinks for a second. "So," he says, "are we going to tell your husband or what?"
Woman: The most efficient money reducing agent known to man-kind!